all began so nice.
A bunch of friends at a cabin in the mountains.
Lots of alcohol, laughter. We had fun.
And then do you not fucking a squad nazi zombies woke up.
I know. It sounds like a clich�, -
- but that's what happened.
You see, we found something.
Something we should not.
Old Nazi gold.
And so
- all hell broke loose.
they killed us. A
by one. One of them bit me.
But I knew how I could fix it.
girlfriend Hanna
Her
They took her and.
I found gold.
Gave it back.
And they let me go.
I thought I was safe.
I was wrong.
Take the damn coin and go to hell where you came from!
Shit, shit, shit
Okay, Okay
(coughs and gets vomiting)
I knew we should not Having touched the casket.
Stay awake now. Stay awake.
That's a good question, Toralf. Of all migratory birds -
- it's a little critter that really stands out.
Namely, arctic terns, or Sterna paradisaea.
coastal bound, surface-feeding seabirds.
group havterner
Havternen maneuver gracefully in the air like a
Troops, Sieg Heil!
Talvik FISH
'' Yes?
What have we here?
Martin, can you hear me?
Hello, Martin. Welcome back.
Martin, you crashed your car.
A nasty crash. You are lucky to be alive.
There is more than one can say about your friends.
Have you seen
Have you seen creatures?
The things
Have the police caught them? Or the army?
Roy and Erlend?
- Hanna? - We found friends. All of them.
Dead. Hanna was your girlfriend, right?
Very beautiful. We found her too.
With an ax driven into the neck.
And your fingerprints on the shaft.
Do you have any idea how that could happen?
They came up from
From the snow. Creatures. Nazi. We stuck, but
Nazis coming out of the ground? Absurd.
Are you sure that he has brain damage?
Please call the family and say he is awakened. Ask the Attorney send a car.
And four additional men. You are ready to be transported.
They are out there yet. They will kill again if we do not stop them.
We should not stop anyone. I've seen what you've done.
- You'll be right in jail. - No one knows what happened there.
Only you know that. And it's not just bad news.
When we found you, you were badly injured. Your right arm was torn across.
- It was not torn - When we found you, it was cold.
The snow had chilled all, and it was very good.
- And then we found the arm in the car. - In the car?
It was slightly bruised and quite pale, bit strange, basically, -
- But the operation was a success.
We managed to stick your arm again.
No, no, no
- It's not my arm. - Relax.
It is Satan's arm! It is Satan's arm!
Calm down.
No, it's not me!
No!
It's not me! What the hell ...?
Stop!
Randi?
You need to settle down removing the denture later.
Tonight I'm ready for a little hue.
From him that got away.
Nameless GERMAN SOLDIERS WHO FELL IN WAR
Bakken.
Warm.
The men have rotted.
We need more people.
Fittel�s!
You scared me, Nils.
I can no more nonsense. I have been a damn long day.
A wedding, a funeral and confirmation.
She's one confirmant was the damn fine, then.
If only I had been ten years younger -
- And not a priest, of course
Nils?
Come on!
Sieg
Heil.
Sieg Heil, Sieg Heil, Sieg Heil
They came down from the mountain.
I saw them.
Hey! Hey!
They are coming! They're going to kill everyone!
pssshhh Hey. Hey, you pssshh. Yeah, you.
Hello.
I saw your arm. It looks really cool.
I took some pictures too. looks sick. But still cool.
I'm not supposed to be in here,but I snuck in here like a ninja. -ninja -yeah
oh i'm Bobby. I'm here on vacation with my mom.
She ate some bad fish yesterday so yeah,hmm
cool. seriously cool.
It looks burned. And old.
like a zombie arm. Zombies are cool.
Zombies?
sorry gotta take this they're wondering if i can get some more info.
More than just a picture of the arm.
Who? What?
the Zombie Squad. They're wondering if i can get some more info.
They're experts on zombies, they live in america.
they've trained for this for years, just waiting for a zombie outbreak to happen
so they can come here? just Tell them to come here right now to get the zombies.
if they're experts They can kill the zombies for us.
- you've you seen the zombies? - Yeah. -cause they're real right, -yeah
- or you can help me loose? - I'm not sure if i should, i mean you're...
- I have chocolate. - you do? -yeah -nice
Yeah I have chocolate. cause i could.. i could get it for you
- Double-triple-fudge. - Oh my God ...!
I'll get this here.
Come on. You can do it.
Help me with the other.
- Can I have my chocolate now? - there's no chocolate kid.
- No chocolate? - Shut the fuck up. -what?
gotta get out.
Hey!
it's not what it looks like.
Stop!
( mobile rings)
Hello?
this is Daniel Heffernan leader of the Zombie Squad. Can I please speak to Bobby?
Bobby. "
- Bobby, he - I dont speak the language of Thor.
- Is Bobby there? - Bobby was killed by zombies.
my God
- Is this the Zombie Squad? - that is a 10.4 Martin, and we will be heading your way shortly.
before we go we need as much information as you can give us. anything you have.
Well em
We came up to the cabin, and there was a bunch of -
- Nazi zombies, and errr
You know...., they killed us all.
Except me. yeah and err
I saw my arm off, and but it's errr
Now the arm
i think they wanted treasure or coin and errr
- Were any of you bitten? - we were all bitten .
But we didnt become one of them. We just err
We just died .
Listen, Martin. -and listen good.
these are not your classic textbook zombies
- just hungering to feast on the flesh of man . no these are most likely cursed zombies.
awakened to reclaim something that was stolen from them .
- Or to complete a task given to them. - They called him Herzog.
They called him Herzog.
Martin of the North, we wil be on our way shortly.
and we'll take care of this infection.
We are professionals. but untill then -
- find out what they seek, their purpose, bye.
Zombie Squad. they are
They are professionals.
They are bad ass.
Okay, girls.
looks like we're going to Norway.
Norway? we cant go to norway. thats on the other side of the world.
yeah and how do we know it's for real?? i mean daniel thats a long way to go to find out if it's a hoax?
You saw the picture.
This is a bonifid infected arm, you know this.
All the signs are there guys the decayed skin, the rotten Rotten hair,the dark blood.
- This is real guys it's real. - this could be dangerous.
no shit?! it's fucking zombies, Of course it will be dangerous!
but this is what we've been waiting for this is our chance to prove to everyone that we were right
i mean we've been telling everyone for years that it's just a matter of time -
-before the first outbreak happens. And what have seen in return?
Laughter. ridicule.
wedgies.
well guess who was right?
- guess who's laughing now?? - i guess we're laughing now?
you're damn right we are! i mean what did we start the Zombie Squad for if it wasnt for this?
- He's right. - Damn right i'm right.
And besides if we dont do this -if we dont go there and help these people-
-who the hell will? -yeah
- so what do we do? 'Yes! '
ok we need as much information as we can get on this herzog character .
on Martin the north of Norway. Everything.
oh wait hold on! guys we cant let our landlords know about this
- Do you mean our parents? - Yes our parents but
- We just can't tell them whats happening. - got it.
we're the official members of the Zombie Squad USA
- Oh my God ...! -it's time to go hunting.
that was better than usual.
i made you a coffee.
- It is cold. - Because you're 40 minutes late.
I am in the winter. The DST system -
- Is completely idiotic. What do you have?
Not much. The boy at Petra has shoplift again.
They should done what they do in Iran. chop Off with his hands.then he'll learn.
And Ove dog has pooed in Olsen's garden.
- Shoot him - Olsen?
Not Olsen. Shoot the dog!
So we have lectures to school about the harms of using marijuana.
boring!
There was one thing, though. From �ksfjord.
�ksfjord? It is not our district.
Martin Hykkerud escaped from the hospital yesterday.
Martin Hykkerud? the guy who killed his friends on top of the mountain?
Yes. He escaped yesterday and killed a little boy and a policeman -
- By throwing a Mercedes star in the face at him.
- Kutta the Mercedes star? - Yes.
- What else? - About the Mercedes star?
About the Hykkerud case!
We need additional people, they get sent a team up.
Sent a team up? Extra people?
How the hell do I get money for additional people from?
I do not even have money to buy new batteries for the cars.
Okay. Right.
What?
did we not agree about having a casual look here?
Continue.
my god I was expecting something like the hoth system but this is more like endor.
monica cant you reference anything other than Star Wars?
- what like Star Trek?maybe if i cant sleep -at least it's based on scientific theories.
- guys,guys i have a lock on martin. - oh Where is he?
- icebay. - woah ok lets go!come on
hold on, hold on first theres something we need to do.
- oh yeah i really have to pee. - No! -i'm feeling hungry
Arm up. -oh you really fucking ruined that.
It would be alot easier if we could buy weapons here. -i know
What the fucks the matter with this country?
MUSEUM ANOTHER WORLD
Can I help you?
Too much coffee. Just go ahead, you.
Best for you if you continue.
This is a war museum, right?
Yes.
Yes, and
Do you have any information about the Germans?
Help!
Listen to me!
I do not have time for this. They come, and we must stop them!
- I have two kittens at home! - Shut up!
Just help me. Please.
- Do you have information about Einsatz? - Yes.
- Second floor. - Second floor.
Where the hell are you?
- What are you looking for? - Herzog.
Buddy with Hitler.
- Nice, huh? - Do not touch the exhibits.
"Herzog was made commander of Einsatz in 1942.
and was sent to the far north of norway in order to protect the warships -
- that the German navy was hiding in the fjords.
He was on duty in �ksfjord doing a routine inspection on the ship Scharnolsht, when
Scharnholst.
When Tirpitz, the German fleets biggest warship, -
- Was attacked by english bombers in Talvik -
- After getting vital information on the ships location from norwegian spies.
Hitler, humiliated by the attack on Tirpitz - ordered Herzog
-to wipe out all the the 800 men and people who lived in talvik at the time. "
Was he He was on his way?
He was on his way to Talvik the evening they were slaughtered in �ksfjord?
On behalf of Hitler.
A mission that was never completed. It is. Exactly what is it.
They will destroy Talvik.
where
Herzog was going from �ksfjord -
- Which is here.
And he was going to talvik.
It's here.
Where are we now?
Where are we now?!
Here.
Isnestoften.
It is in between.
(screaming outside)
They are recruiting!
They make new soldiers. Can they do that? Fuck!
Okay, they come here. There're coming now.
I will not die in a museum with a guy in a green jogging suit.
Calm down. You will die.
But relax. Not today.
There!
Let see what this thing can do.
What thing?
What did you do? You killed them only with your hand
It's arm, man.
Before I could not control it, but now makes it known what I think.
You're not even sweating.
Do not worry about it.
They build bigger. Damn much larger.
There are too many through the arm.
So much death.
All this unnecessary death.
(whimpering)
Fuck!
You did what he fucker in the place. You just
- You - No, it was the arm. It was the arm.
He does not attack
Did you see that?did you see that I hit it!
I hit it!oh my god I did it i fucking did it!
I hit it right in the eye.oh my god
oh my god take a picture. please take a picture of me.
- First Zombie Squad kill. - One, two
cheese...!
Did you get it?
oh we spoke on the phone. i'm Daniel, this is Blake and Monica. -hi
We are the Zombie Squad.
- god damn it - they're real ? these are real dead people?.
And thats a real zombie. You killed him.
- i cant believe it. - can we just focus for one second guys.
i'm so sorry. We are more professional than this.
-you're the Zombie Squad? - Yep.
- You're the Zombie Squad?. - Yeah, we are the zombie squad
i'm sorry. I just expected something different.
so was this guy when he woke up this morning.
Because I hit him in the face with an ax.
- yeah how did you find me? - we tracked your iphone, of course.
We're fucking nerds. this is what we do technical shit, lets cut the chit chat
What did you find out? What do the creatures want?
Revenge.
(engine noise)
this is insane!
You? you have the gift?
The force is strong with this one.
ok
Martin, this is how we defeat them, this is how we take them down
- What do you mean? - I mean
We create an army of our own.
I tried to get as much infomation as i could on the trip over.
Especially about Herzog. To defeat your enemy, you must know you enemy.
This is Lieutenant Stavarin of the Soviet army.
Him and his battalion was captured during the battle of Kursk.
and brought here to the north of norway as pow's.
In 1944 they were all sent to Kvenang mountain -
-to build a road through the mountain pass.
but it was after they built the road that shit got ugly.
All of the prisoners were shot. Shot to death!
No survivors.
And the man in charge
Herzog.
Those bodies are still buried there.
Buried in the frozen soil. Preserved, waiting.
- waiting for what? - for he same thing that drives Herzog.
Revenge. -and guess who's gonna give it to them.
- the man who can raise the dead? - kerfuckin ...!
you guys go after Herzog try and slow him down, give us as much time as possible. ok?
- And what if this doesnt work? - It has too.
all we have to do is get to Kvenang mountain, find stavarin wake him back from the dead -
- then bring him back to Talvik so he can help us fight Herzog and his men.
Lett. Besides
we got help.
here we go.
He is our last hope.
look, a tank.
(a sound from outside)
- a Visitor now? - It's early.
(sound)
Hello?
(baby crying)
Look, his army is growing bigger.
glenn are there more towns or villages before he reaches talvik
- maybe a few houses but thats it - Good. so what he has now he'll use for his attack.
yeah pretty much that is untill he starts dealing with people of Talvik bekim and journhim as well.
- How many people live in talvik? - about 3000.
- Holy shit! - all the more reason for us to slow them down as much as we can.
- look do you know how to use one of those things? - of course. I'm from northern Norway arent i.
I dont know what that means, ok guys pack light.
we're moving out, now!
What the deepest in hell happened here?
What do engineers?
It is not technical, Only Tom and Ole in a white coat.
The thought so a little more professionally out.
NCIS should be herein night.
- Do we have any witnesses? - If you get the seagulls to chat happily.
Gulls, yes. Then you have a damn good invention.
A gadget that translates seagull language to human language.
He who finds a way will be fucking rich.
Get the bodies out of Talvik before the gulls eat them up.
And take pictures, otherwise NCIS will cut off my balls.
Here are pictures from the surveillance camera.
Is not that where ...?
To me at the head of guttefitta mi.
Okay, guys, guys! We are in a hurry. Come on!
Come on, man! We have things to do!
There they are. And they have a tank i see.
Yes, they stole it from the museum.
ah Fuck!
- What is that? - A large-ass tank and 40 or 50 zombies.
No,no,no,no,no That. What is that?
oh these are replica's of the binoculars Han and Chewie used on the planet Hoth.
Did you guys know ...fun fact all of the hoth scenes, -sssshhhhhh
- Were filmed here in Norway. this place called Finse.
girls Could we please maybe focus on you know the Nazi zombies instead?
- What do we do? - well Daniel told us to slow them down, so thats what we're gonna do.
Look.
We need to get out there, get their attention and then lure them into the swamps, right?
And then when they get stuck, we can use the fertilizer bombs we made and blow them into bits and pieces.
thats sounds basically impossible.
And how were you planning on luring them out there? We need bait. Live bait.
yes we need someone to attract their attention,
someOne who is light on their feet.
who knows these swamps and can move through them without getting stuck.
What?
No.
no. thats a swamp !, i'm not getting out there
who says i wont get stuck?, and one more thing, those things -
- are fucking zombies who wants to rip my face off!
hey Talvik is your hometown am i right?
- Yeah. - You must have people you love there?.
Yeah. especially one ma ... woman that I love.
- With long hair and big breasts. - Do it for "her".
you just bring them here, and we'll do the rest. Capeesh?
hey man, martin?
- Yeah? - Are you okay?
yeah yeah.
First, we wake up a battalion of Nazi zombies -
- And now I'm supposed to wake up a bunch of dead russian guys
martin look Your arm, your power, -
- is the only thing that can take down Herzog at this point remember that.
if we dont succeed -
- He power will keep growing untill he's unstoppable
that my friend, is a big bowl of shit
- that we dont wanna live in.
oh my God. thats is vile smelling .
how did it fill up the car so fast? that smell?
- thats alright just carsick. - that smells foul.
No,no no no
f**k, thats disgusting!
that smells.
I did not know it was ugly-nosed congress in the city.
Come and get me, then.
Come and get me if you dare.
Move it!
Hold!
- it's working they're following him. - but Not Herzog and most of his men,shit.
no no it's ok we got their attention, if we take these guys out he'll come for us himself.
Come on, Glenn!
- Run faster! - Faster!
Yes!
Come on, Glenn!
Yes, go
- Run, Glenn! - Faster!
go.go!
Please god
Yes!
OMG, Blake!
USA, USA!
USA!
Shoot.
Hey. that tank is moving.
that cant be good.
Run!
oh My God!
Talvik. Now.
Hey.
- Where are we? - We're getting close.
But we're also stuck.
- Can I push it? - I dont, i dont think that will help.
- Is it far? We could walk. - We dont have that kind of time.
i mean If only we could find something -
- to put under the car you know something that would give us traction.
Then I could get us out of here.
(whimpering scared)
- There you are, yes. - Satan lives to accommodate all equal.
The dress is absolutely stuffed full. We had to throw the rest in the garage.
- Sounds like a perfect solution. - Thank you.
Most Germans and French. Hardly the vacation they envisioned.
To get worn off his head and arms and get entrails torn out?
Unless they like that kind of kinky stuff.
- Should you do that? - No.
- Should not NCIS been here now? - It gave a lot in Alta.
The plane could not land. They are here in the morning, they say.
- It's perfect. - What?
It's our chance.
Now, we fucking show people what we're made of here.
We here at Talvik Police find Martin Hykkerud itself.
We get him. Vi. We will be heroes.
Not the goddamn suit-clad, homofriserte -
- Sushi-eating hestkukene south.
Beef boys
Brief guys. Send photos to all gossips throughout Talvik.
He stops to pee, I Knowing the color and smell of urine.
- Odor and color. - And make ready their weapons.
Now we shoot anything other than gulls, for once.
Do you really think this is going to work?
I mean, say we actually manage to wake these russians back to life .
Whats stopping them from killing us?
I dont know whats gonna happen. But judging based on him -
- he treats you like you're his master, so hopefully they'll do the same.
Hopefully.
look I dont know man this is some unprecedented unheard of -
- Mysterious voodoo zombie shit man I've never seen this before.
I've seen a thousand zombie movies, and this is not in any of them.
You have created a whole new genre here man.
look i mean if we're gonna go up against a battalion of Nazi zombies -
-we could do a whole lot worse than teaming up with a battlion of russian zombies.
He has to die you know?. Herzog.
For what he did. We have to kill him.
I have to kill him. For Hanna.
- this it is. - Yeah.
this is definitely it.
Herzog killed Stavarin and 50 of his men here.
So they've got to be buried in this frozen ground. .
how we do this?
we do it just like you did -
- with him.
I put my hand on his head.
Okay. Right.
we cant dig up everyone it will take weeks.
You have to wake them up, one way or another.
Lord.
f**k yeah!
He was first seen here.
In �ksfjord.
And next time here. Museum at lsnestoften.
So it looks as if he's heading south. Perhaps there.
We have a problem.
A gang dressed as Germans going bananas out there?
Bananas? They killed loads of different people.
We have not had a murder since 74, and suddenly there Ragnarok.
Okay, everybody, listen up! Shoot first, ask later!
There is no one here. We have showed them the door.
They are gone.
Since you can not complete the mission, -
- You can just turn and go back to your snow cave.
Some have grown a bit since last time. Been a little bigger.
I also taught a couple of buddies the dance.
Is it not a bit sour when you thought someone was dead -
- Coming back to kill you?
Let's kill them.
Troops!
Attack!
Let's kill them all!
What the hell is going on here? Is the carnival in town?
they have tanks?
- Damn! - Run!
Help!
Daniel! tank.
- Should not we help them? - Help who?
Those with blemishes in german uniform or those with blemishes in Russian?
okay
Good boy.
- Jesus, Mary and Joseph Stalin! - What the hell's going on?
Do as hell. Looks like a video game.
look Martin Hykkerud!
- Yes! - Should we take him?
No, no. Wait until it calms down.
this is tactical policing.
Zombie Squad. It's about time!
- thats a long story. - There was a tank.
And guy took my jacket.
- looks like you found Stavarin and his men i see. - Yeah but there's still more them than us .
i guess it's time we even out the odds a bit huh.
guys! We're losing!
look!
shit!
No, no, no
No!
Wait!
We have to kill him!
They're all bound to him like the russians are to you .
If he dies, the others will too .
lets finish this.
Untermensch.
guys come on. No seat belts?
You just asking for it.
fuckin hell how many more of these are there?
Is this it?
Monica, is this how it's gonna end?
No, no.
- we're gonna die now? - No.
Fuck it.
fuck it i'm just gonna say it. -what?
I, -
- Glenn Kenneth Toivonen, is
No!
- Blake! - Glenn?
Monica ..
Why did not you just stay on the mountain?
You got's what you should have. You got the gold.
But it was not enough.
You were greedy.
wanted more.
Blake
- Monica - watch out!
- Monica! - Blake!
Blake! No!
That's why you lost.
Because you were greedy.
You know you lost the war?
Lost everything.
ridiculed.
Pathetic.
And you know what?
You lose again.
No!
My God!
He did it!
- He killed Herzog. - It worked. I knew it.
Herzog is dead.
He is dead. Yes!
that was close.
You did it! You killed Herzog?
i cant believe that that actually worked.
Of course it did.
you doubted the Zombie Squad?
Kenneth Glenn, is he ...?
He didnt make it.
It's been a true honor killing zombies with you guys.
you too martin.
What is it? Okay.
- You can say it. - go for it.
May the force be with you.
Really? That one? Of all the ...? You chose that one?
theres like a million to choose from, why would you choose that one?
- Where the hell are they? - I know as hell.
Hell too! Bjarne!
Are you in a coma?
Go and find them, dammit!
I would resolve this matter. Do not end with a hundred new corpses.
Where do we fit it all? The garage and the freezer is packed.
I do not know! I do not know.
The gulls again. They've not eaten so well since the war.
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