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There isn't always a loud bang
when a dream bursts.
But that's how it was with us.
Paladiki.
Galapagos in Greece.
The path out of the crisis for our little island
ends here.
But at least it's a good story.
And even if I play only a small part in it,
I consider it my duty to tell it.
Let's start from the beginning.
Paladiki is a quiet island.
Heavenly quiet.
"Galapagos in Greece". That's our project.
Instead of big hotels and mass tourism,
we have nature.
We have mountains, we have donkeys,
we have a hospital,
the sea, a beautiful beach, and...
a whole bunch of goats.
But in this story, it's more about what we don't have.
The whole catastrophe
starts with a little piece of paper...
- Hello, Panos. - Good morning, Brigitte, my dear.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
One euro for you, Darling.
- Are you with my girlfriend? - You're a jerk.
- Are you going out tonight? - Let's see what the evening brings.
- But we're leaving tomorrow. - Yeah.
You want to break my heart.
What the hell is this? Those arrogant arseholes!
- Come on. - I hate the Germans!
But Panes, you're German yourself.
Me? I'm a victim of globalisation.
Born and raised in a foreign country.
But in my heart, in my blood,
I was and still am a Greek!
Morning, Yannis.
How's it going?
Hello.
- I want to work for you! - You're too young, come back in ten years.
Eighteen! I'll be eighteen by then!
For our project "Galapagos in Greece",
we took out a small loan from Germany.
We received our money, everything was going well,
and now this!
"A supplemental extraordinary examination of the specified securities."
In other words: The German is coming to snoop around.
Do you see anything?
Wait, the ship hasn't even docked yet.
Give them to me!
Oh, no!
My girls! I completely forgot about them!
My darlings! I'm up here!
Sit down, you idiot. Our island is in jeopardy!
Forgive me!
Odysseus, you have to let them go.
Here we go.
Give them to me.
Only a German would do what those two idiots ask.
Hello! You must be from Germany.
Welcome to Paladiki. My name's Maria.
- We have rooms for rent. - No, thanks.
Our hotel has a beautiful sea view.
-25 euros per night. - No,no.
-20 euros? - No.
Pep Guardiola.
- Hello, Dr Laichinger. - Geissner? What's the situation?
Well, it looks pretty miserable here.
- I'm looking for my hotel. - No false sympathies.
I'll bet there is neither a hospital nor a power plant.
- Stay on it! -Of course, Dr Laichinger.
I don't believe it!
Iast week.
- He drowned! - Yes.
Hello?
Hello!
Excuse me? Excuse me!
I'd like to take up your offer of a room after all.
Oh, yes! With pleasure.
-It's 40 euros per room. -40?
The one for 2O is no longer available,
but you can use all the hotel's facilities
free of charge.
- Hello, Dr Laichinger. - Geissner, what's the progress?
- I'm at the hotel now... - Only now? What took you so long?
- I had to find a different place. - Geissner?
- Our investor needs that beach, and quick. -Just a moment...
Excuse me, but would it be impolite to ask you for the money for the room now?
Excuse me, but I'm on the phone right now.
Pardon me.
Unbelievable, the state of things here.
Give me proof that the securities are false.
Certainly, Dr Laichinger.
- Geissner, stay on it. -Yes.
Listen, I would really appreciate a bit more privacy.
Of course! Would it be impolite to ask you once more...
Yes!
All right.
I'll need a proper receipt showing the VAT separately.
- If you know what I mean. - Of course. Thank you.
Here comes the gauleiter.
He wants his money back!
Finally! The Germans are here!
Yes. Jérg Geissner, from the AVO Bank.
Our saviour from Germany!
What would we do without you?
Would you be so kind and tell me where the mayor's office is?
But of course, Herr Kommissar. This way.
- Welcome! - Welcome!
- You've been to Greece before, right? - No,no.
- And I'm not a Kommissar, either. - This way.
- Welcome! - Welcome, welcome!
Please excuse the chaos,
to increase efficiency we've merged several administrative departments:
Tax and revenue office, registration office,
property and land, uh...
- What's it called, regis... - Registry.
Yes, land registry, etc. etc.
Bureaucracy reduction, you know.
But excuse me, I've not even introduced myself.
I'm the Mayor of Paladiki.
Kantelirakis, Spyros.
Oh... how convenient.
Geissner, AVO Bank.
Yes, I've been sent...
- Please. - Thank you.
I've been sent to examine the securities you listed for the loan we granted you...
The securities I refer to would be, hold on...
the electric power plant, the hospital and the beach.
Gladly.
Our project, "Paladiki. Galapagos in Greece",
is making great progress. Thanks to you!
So what exactly can I do for you?
I need more detailed information about the power plant and the hospital.
In other words, construction plans, invoices,
land register extracts...
Whatever else you might...
No problem, that was just my cousin's tax return.
In this context, I need to inform you
of the consequences of making false statements.
In such a case, the AVO Bank would have the right by contract
to choose the securities on its own...
which in this case, would...
affect...
the town of Paladiki...
as a whole.
Please, my friend.
I know, you Germans have a very different mentality.
As a Greek,
I would say you are snooping around,
- I'd say you don't trust us. - No,no.
In that regard, you're just...
different. I accept that.
It would be best if you yourself look for what you need.
Unfortunately, due to budget cuts, I had to fire my secretary.
But that would take me months!
Yes, you'll like it here with us.
In that case, I'll inspect the buildings straight away,
to get a personal impression on the ground.
I wanted to look at the beach anyway.
Of course, be my guest. You can walk to the beach,
just walk along the harbour...
And how do I get to the power plant and the hospital?
Car rental and maps can be found at the Mini Market.
But they only rent cars until 4:00 pm.
You won't make it today.
Enjoy Paladiki, Herr Kommissar.
Dr Laichinger. Mailbox. Leave a message.
Dr Laichinger, this is Geissner.
I don't think I'll find a hospital or a power plant here.
Thank God there's a beach, at least. Our investor will like it.
Big enough for the hotel and the water sports facilities.
It needs some cosmetic surgery,
but with a little fresh sand, and a palm or two, it'll be great.
The town's harbour is ideal for restaurants and a shopping strip,
although there might be...
some resistance from the population,
because of the project "Galapagos in Greece"...
Oh God!
What happened? I don't believe it.
There... look! I don't believe it.
Don't you trip me up! Got it?
Got it, you stupid thing? Where does it come from?
Where? Where?
I don't speak Greek.
You're cute... You don't understand a word,
and don't speak a word.
Thank you.
Jérg. Jérg Geissner.
Shit!
Sorry, Mrs Laichinger?
That was an accident, but...
I'm doing fine. I'll call again later.
What Paladiki also has is an undersea power cable.
15 centimetres thick,
it runs 260 kilometres across the seabed to the mainland,
supplying us with electricity.
That's the good news.
The bad news is:
An undersea cable is not an electric power plant.
Which has never been a problem until now.
That's why we need a power plant!
Bye, you nutcase. And keep the whiskers.
- The what? - Your beard. Keep it.
Okay.
- Can you turn the sign around? - This here?
Hi there!
Good morning.
Morning.
- Didn't I see you at Mr Kante... - Kantelirakis.
- Right. Didn't I see you there? -It's possible.
Yes, I'm quite sure of it.
Anyway, I'd like to rent a car.
I don't rent out cars anymore. I'm sorry.
But I have a good alternative.
This is where we are. And that's where you have to go.
You're kidding, right?
You'll love it.
I'm not going to ride around on a donkey!
Why not? Just try it.
This is to go right, that's to go left.
4O for the donkey and 5 for the map.
We'll take care of it later. Good luck.
- You think this will work? - It will.
We'll start work today.
Damned goats!
Which idiot brought those animals to our island?
Those animals are subsidised!
They finance the island!
- You mean like the power plant? - Leave me alone!
Say...
Can you keep the German spy away from here for a few days?
That's the least of our problems.
Right. Right. Right!
Stop! Stop!
Oh, God. Hang on.
- Hello, Dr Laichinger. - Geissner, where are you?
- Hello? - Hello, what's the situation?
- Why are you whispering? - I can't speak openly.
I see.
- But you don't have to whisper. -That's right.
- So, what's the situation? - Yes, uh...
To be honest, right now things are going a bit slowly.
We're having some transportation problems.
I hope they haven't sent you off on a donkey!
It's not that bad. I can't ride anyway.
But today I might not be able to visit both...
- The situation is serious! -I know it's serious.
- Stay on it, Geissner. -Yes, I'll stay on it, Dr...
Damn it!
When I say right, I mean right!
You think I'll let you make a fool of me?
Damn it!
Come back.
Come back!
Vassilis, bring two buckets of water.
Come here.
- He found his own way back. - Good animal, right?
Did you take a walk with the German?
Cheers!
Can I get something to eat here too?
Vassilis, the speciality of the house.
You'll like it.
How was your day, my friend? Did you find everything?
Why not spare ourselves this whole charade,
and you tell me straight out that you have neither a power station
nor a hospital?
- Oh, Herr Kommissar! - I'm not a Kommissar.
How nice to have you here with us.
What would we have done without you Germans? Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
He won't hold out much longer!
He can hardly wait to get back on his ferry.
Bon appétit!
- Don't worry, it's all organic. - The eye is particularly tasty.
Go on.
My apologies, please.
We don't like it when the Germans send their watchdogs.
Why are you whispering?
I have a little problem with the owner.
It's better she doesn't know I'm here.
It's not your fault. You're just doing your job.
No, I love my job.
Panos!
Panos! Open the door!
I know you're in there. Open up or I'll kick the door in!
Is Daddy in there?
Stop calling that idiot "Daddy"! What a great dad!
Leave my customers alone! Do you understand?
You'll sorely regret having set foot in my hotel!
Good evening.
Do you have a visitor?
- No. - I'll give you some advice.
Stay away from that man.
Good night.
Cursed is the day I ever met you! You bloody bastard!
If you think you can do us harm, you can think again!
Understood? Leave us in peace and go back to Germany!
If I catch you, I'll beat you to a pulp!
I'll break all your bones, you randy goat!
You dirty bastard!
- He's gone. - Good.
Oh, it's cold!
Cold. Cold.
What's this? Get off me!
What's going on? Get off me!
What the hell are you doing there?
- You scared me to death! - Sorry, I didn't mean to.
- All right, come in. - Thanks.
What happened to your eye?
Can't you sleep?
Yes, I can. I just went for a little walk.
You mean you were snooping around, Herr Kommissar?
Very funny.
Seriously. Tomorrow I'm going to the hospital. You can come along.
- Really? - Or you could take the donkey.
No!
You wouldn't happen to have sleeping pills, would you?
Sleeping pills?
This, and peace in your heart, is the best sleep tonic.
And by the way,
thanks for hiding me.
Thanks for the salad.
Do you have a wife in Germany?
- I live alone. - Bravo!
It's best for a man to live alone.
Let's drink to that.
Take Odysseus...
He knew exactly what to do when the Sirens tempted him.
He tied himself to the mast of his ship to remain a free man.
Here.
You know, around here they call me "Kamaki".
The Harpoon. Because I've loved them all.
I met women every summer.
Women from England, Australia, Switzerland, Germany. Yeah!
Especially from Germany!
From Denmark, Sweden, England,
from France, from Switzerland!
- Luxembourg. - Yes, exactly, from Luxembourg!
Come on.
From Finland. Did I say Finland already?
Probably.
What kind of women make you happy?
My job makes me happy.
Wait a second. This is beautiful!
Come on!
Drink up! Come on, drink up!
Do you want to insult me? All right, then.
Get off. You're not supposed to lie down on the bed!
- Geissnef! - Good morn...
Hello'?
Geissner, is that you?
Good morning.
- Good morning. - Good morning, Pep!
- Sorry I'm late. - Ah, my friend! Did you sleep well?
It was a fun night, wasn't it?
Don't you have any wall plugs?
Wall plugs are for Germans. Greeks use nails.
The Great Odysseus.
- But you have to use a wall plug. - Oh, come on. I don't use those things.
Let's drive to the hospital.
Fuck it. Come on, let's go.
I don't ride motorcycles out of principle.
Motorcycle or donkey?
What's going on now?
Vassili, yeah!
- That's going to be our artificial reef! - Artificial reef?
But that was a good boat, it could've still been used!
Yeah, but that's exactly what we don't want anymore.
They're trawlers. They scrape everything from the seabed.
Fish, mussels, coral, everything. Then nothing else can grow.
But that's over now.
What we are planning here is called...
"gentle tourism".
Yeah!
Can you hold this for a second, my friend?
Two lovebirds!
What a catch!
You really caught something this time!
What are you doing there the whole time?
Just relax, man.
Look at that! Beautiful, isn't it?
- Better than on a donkey, right? - Yes.
What is it?
Can you get off?
- Why? -It's broken.
What?
It'll only take half an hour. It happens all the time.
Okay, half an hour is up!
Oh, come on!
Are you kidding me?
I'm not an idiot!
Next time I'm leaving this behind!
Oh man!
I don't believe it.
Stop!
Amateur actors.
Out of the way! It's a funeral, man! Unbelievable!
Holy shit.
Hello.
Good bye. Uh...
The guy's driving me crazy.
My condolences.
Well, well, it's Herr Kommissar!
- What happened? - A drowning.
Does that happen here often? How awful.
- Have a seat. Want a coffee? - No, nothing. Although...
some water would be nice.
Nikos, bring our friend a glass of water.
Thanks for carrying that.
His brother drowned last year as well.
What?
Maybe... Thanks.
Maybe you should start thinking about a lifeguard or a beach patrol.
What?
What did you say, damn it?
- What is it, Vangelis? - He didn't mean it.
You take our land, our children!
Calm down, Vangelis!
- What was that? - Sit down, Vangelis!
I'm sorry, but what did I say?
- Panos, what's going on? - Everything's fine, Mayor.
You know, the crisis...
It's not like the people here are drowning by accident.
-"Syggnomi". - Pardon me?
Syggfiomi.
Can I get a couple more of those?
Nikos, wine!
It's all right.
He didn't mean it. It's all right.
Get some paint on there!
Can't you see how uneven that coat of paint is?
- You never use enough paint! - Make sure it's an even coat!
Stop talking! Enough already!
No sloppy work! Do good work, please!
-$hut up! -$hut up!
It has to be perfect when the German shows up!
Perfect! Clean! impeccable!
- You just sit around while we work! - Unbelievable...
Watch out!
Dimitri!
- Why aren't you sleeping? - I was sleeping!
What's going on?
Let me in, I have something to tell the German.
- Wait, I'll get Mum. - No!
No, not Mum!
Dimitri, I need your help, my boy.
Even the Germans couldn't be worse.
- It hurts! -It's nothing serious.
It's sprained... if not worse!
If you can move it, then everything's fine.
You two are even worse than the German!
Don't touch it!
Okay, alarm off.
Oh, what have we here?
He can take that one again.
We'll leave him that one.
Doesn't he have any friends?
Germans don't have friends.
Not even German friends?
Time for new contacts.
That's not very many.
Yes.
So it seems.
Herr Kommissar!
We wanted to have a look at something!
Hey, you pretty things.
Move aside.
Look over there. There's your hospital.
Come on.
Get off.
- I don't believe it. - What don't you believe?
Well, I was certain that...
Of course we have a hospital. What did you think?
Stop it, you fool!
You see, everything's as it should be.
Now you can call your boss to tell him the loan wasn't for a phantom.
I...
I think I owe you an apology.
You know, my friend...
I like you.
Thanks.
Yannis, calm down!
It's me, Panos! Calm down!
Everything's okay, it's all good!
Why did you scare me like that?
We told you we were going to look at the hospital.
- With Pep Guardiola? - That's the German from the bank.
He has to take some photos.
Come, come on.
- What's your name, Herr Kommissar? - Geissner.
Well, Jdrg.
Ah, Giorgios! That's a name!
Ah, surgeon.
By the way, Dr Yannis makes his own wine.
Hello, Dr Laichinger.
Geissner, why haven't you called?
We're inspecting the hospital.
The what?
I was surprised too, but everything's in order.
And we're about to visit the power plant.
But I want the beach. We need the beach!
Or else our nice bank is done for.
I know that, Dr Laichinger.
You'd better not let them pull the wool over your eyes, Geissner.
Yes, I'm on it.
I think we should move on.
Just one more glass.
But only one.
But I'm not a doctor,
I'm a surgeon.
Giorgios, give me your phone!
Give it to me, I know how it works.
- Feta? - Yes, look.
- I look great. - Nice.
- I have my eyes closed. - But I said "feta"!
You should've waited.
It turned out nicely.
Left!
My God!
Everything okay?
My God, I said "left"!
What the hell do you expect?
It's dark! How should I tell left from right?
My God, I almost dropped the bottle.
Bravo, Giorgios, bravo!
Are you guys CFaZY?
There you have your power plant!
Come on, take a couple of pictures!
You have an electric power plant.
- Yes. - You have an electric power plant!
We have a bloody electric power plant!
What did I tell you?
Perfect.
Unbelievable.
It's just...
What's wrong with him? What were you drinking?
It's locked!
I don't have a key!
But I have to go in there.
I have to take some pictures!
Give me the key, pretty please.
I really don't have a key.
He doesn't have a key.
- Maybe he has a key. Do you? - Me? I don't have any keys.
He doesn't have one either.
- Take a picture of the door! - Yeah, right.
I'll take a picture of the locked door.
There's nothing in there anyway!
- What? - Only a couple of turbines!
A couple of turbines!
- Come with me. - What now?
You can hear the turbines working.
- Doctor... - Geissner? What the hell's going on there?
- The eclectic... The electric... - Are you drunk?
The whatchamacallit plant... is there too.
You can't be serious! I want the beach! The beach! The beach!
Or else our bank is clone for! We can all look for a new job, Geissner!
But that's not so bad.
- Pardon me? -Night-night.
Geissner? Geissner, don't hang up!
Mr Geissner! You forgot your receipt!
- Maria. Thanks. - Have a good trip.
What are they doing?
- They're kissing. - What? Give them to me!
- Panos! - Come on!
Don't make the departure harder than it already is.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING
Goodbye, my friend.
And give Merkel a kiss for me.
What are those idiots telling him?
Hey...
Something's not right.
Give them here.
What's wrong with him?
Has he lost it?
He's going!
What did I tell you?
There goes the German.
He's going.
Did you mean that in a positive or a negative way?
I don't know...
I kind of liked him.
Did you fall in love, silly?
- Tell me. - No, I didn't fall in love.
It can't be!
What is it? Give them to me.
What's he doing there?
Mr Geissner?
Dr Laichinger. Mailbox. Leave a message.
Yes. Hello, Dr Laichinger.
Unfortunately, my departure has been slightly delayed.
There is a problem with the power plant after all.
I cannot verify its authenticity 100%.
Yup.
May I come in?
Try one.
Thank you.
I told you to stay away from him.
It's so easy to give your heart to Panos.
But...
with the hearts of others, he just...
Hey, Rolando.
Rename.
That's right, Ronaldo.
I think I have to speak with your dad.
Please don't hurt him.
We'll see.
Oh God.
Giorgios? Giorgios, my friend!
What a surprise! You stayed after all.
I found out that your island is supplied via undersea cable.
Your electric power plant is not real.
Not real? What are you talking about?
- We went there together! - I want to see it from the inside.
Of course. Sure.
But shouldn't a friendship be based on trust?
Trust. Trust you?
The guy who thinks he's Odysseus?
Freedom, freedom, I need freedom!
You don't even care about your son because of your bloody freedom!
I don't trust guys like that.
Okay. That hurt.
You'll get your power plant. Inside and out, upside and down!
Who do you Germans think you are? You still think you're special.
Show me the power plant!
Fine. My cousin can bring the key in five days.
No, no! No more cousins, and no five days.
I want to see the power plant tomorrow.
In two days I lose my job.
- That's not my problem. - Oh yes! That's your biggest problem!
Because tomorrow evening I'll report that your power plant doesn't exist,
and we'll build a giant hotel here like you've never seen before!
We'll turn your Galapagos into the new Majorca!
I want to see the power plant. Tomorrow!
But I don't have a key!
This time I'm going to get you.
Come with me.
Hey, little man, keep an eye on the shop.
Get in, I'll show you something.
You want to take the boat to the power plant?
Please.
Why are we transporting a box of dynamite?
It's for our artificial reef.
You're doing that on purpose, right?
CAUTION HIGH VOLTAGE
- There he is! - I can see that.
- Do the donkey! - No!
First comes the short circuit, then the donkey.
Give it to me.
Sometimes you have to take fate into your own hands.
Watch out.
- Come on, get up. - What's going on?
Get up, I said. Come on, get up!
We're going to drop anchor here, and I'll prove the cable is out of order.
You'd rather kill us than admit you've been deceiving me the whole time?
The donkey! Do the donkey!
- Did you hear a donkey? - I have no idea.
Yes, it was a donkey!
- You can throw the anchor! - No.
- Yes! - Not with a 30,000 volt cable down there!
Damn it!
Why isn't it stopping?
But we've already done the donkey!
- We have to warn Panos! - But the German will hear us!
I'll pull out the cable!
Give me your jacket! And you give me your sweater!
- Are you crazy? - Do it!
Go on! Quick!
Give that to me.
That was someone yelling.
That was a donkey! Here! Throw it in.
- Take it off me! - No, you!
Watch out!
- Why? - High voltage!
Give it here!
Oh, God!
Nothing happened.
- What? - Nothing happened!
- Spyros, are you okay? - Are you still alive?
- Are you in pain?
What did I tell you? No electricity.
Move!
Happy new year.
Your hand!
Giorgios!
Your hand!
One, two, three!
Oh, no!
Bloody hell!
- Daddy, it's not my fault. - Bloody hell!
Out of the way!
Listen, little man...
It's not your fault.
It was a power outage!
I'm an idiot.
Listen, little man, listen.
Do you want to work for me? Full-time. For life. Huh?
Do you want to work for me? Forever?
Come here.
I have to go again for a while.
I'll be back. I have to take care of something.
It'll be fine.
Dr Yannis can do it.
His mother was a seamstress.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, mate.
I'm sorry too.
It was nice all the same.
Yes, it was.
Giorgios! Giorgios!
Damn it, don't do this to me!
Herr Kommissar, grit your teeth.
- Don't die. - Herr Kommissar! Herr Kommissar!
Giorgios, my friend, I'm so sorry, I didn't want this!
You have to see the inside of the power plant.
And don't let them fool you!
You poor man, Geissner.
What did they do with you?
It's not all that bad.
You're a brave man.
And your effort was not in vain.
We've got them!
They staged quite a fairy tale for you.
The power plant isn't real.
The beach is ours, Jérg. We're saved.
And you, dear Geissner, will soon be home.
With your AVO Bank family.
GET WELL
With best wishes from your colleagues.
Schewe?
Yes.
Are you serious? A bit faster, Schewe.
And stay on it!
To type the amount, press here. 2.50 euro, for example. Okay?
Tick, tock, bang. See? Easy.
If you want to open the till, what do you do?
Then you press here.
Press it.
No, wrong button.
No matter. There's just one important thing to remember:
Beautiful women and Greeks only pay half.
Germans, Brits and Russians pay double. The rest pays the normal price.
Pep! Do you want a beer?
Four euros.
- Giorgios is a Greek now. - One euro.
Bravo!
Hey-
I'm sorry about the finger.
Oh. I'm the one who's sorry.
- Because of the beach. - Let them come.
That sort of thing can take a while.
Giorgios...
Do you mind if I don't come to the harbour?
I don't like goodbyes.
No, that's fine by me. I don't like goodbyes either.
Sorry.
- Dr Laichinger. - Geissner. Where are you?
- I'll be right there. - Hurry up. Hop to it.
Good bye.
I'll take you.
Thanks.
Well...
Thank you.
Thank you for everything.
It was so unbelievably nice here with you.
I thank you too.
Have a good trip.
Can't you just shut up for once!
It's just unbearable!
Herr Kommissar...
What a fantastic Pep Guardiola!
Yes, indeed.
Odysseus!
- What's all this nonsense, Geissner? - Odysseus!
Odysseus.
Damn it, Geissner, what the hell are you doing?
Odysseus!
- I'm staying here! - Yeah!
Well. Like I said:
At least it's a good story.
I ask you
What could possibly befall me
Believe me, I love life
The carousel will go on turning
Even if we go our separate ways
You know I love life