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Do you think you can know something before you know it?
Something good or bad, I don't think it matters, but it's...
it's like the air changes or... something inside of you.
Home.
Not any more.
What was that?
Don't know. I think we hit something.
Who's that man in the boat with Dad?
Don't know.
I'm thinking that we'll keep some.
They still have to be packed.
It just looked so bare.
OK.
I've got some thank-you things for Sally and Dan.
I'm going to take them over.
Elliot.
Let's go to the market. We'll get something nice.
- I think we should go and look. - What for?
The deer.
I'll get a basket.
- Maybe it's lying in a ditch. - It was just a branch.
- There's blood on the car. - No, there isn't.
Have you checked?
Do you think they're ready for that, in the village?
- I like it. - So do the fleas.
- I'd like to go back. - Yeah?
We could bring it here. It could... We could look after it.
Yes?
I mean I could.
FURNITURE FOR SALE
Would you get some drawing pins, please?
We should put it out of its misery.
How?
We could twist its neck.
- Could you? - Or with a rock.
Do you not feel anything?
Really, Elliot, that jacket is revolting.
It has holes in it.
So do I.
- Et voilà. - Merci.
Bon journée.
I quite like the market.
Mum.
- Is it working? - No, I think it's the carburettor.
Back to the warehouse...
Bea, we have an appointment at the notary,
so I'll fly out the day after tomorrow.
I think it's...
I think that's best.
- Another? - Please.
Voilà.
- Writer? - Not really.
- But you write. - Yes.
What about?
A poem maybe, or a play.
- For the theatre? - Yes.
You're English?
I was an actor.
You taking a break?
You know the bar.
So... is there a role for me?
I don't know.
It's the end, my friends.
Time is thick with speeches and cigarette smoke.
Illusions... wither on the bough
and we are left to carry the dregs of another year
across the barren, brown fields of winter.
It's great.
Thanks.
I'm trying to find the words...
- In English if you want. - No, it's good.
I mean I'm trying to find the words in English
to express the idea...
What is the word for this?
Jacket?
No, everything. She... he is liquid.
- Without a body. - Oui.
- He wants... - To feel something?
Yeah, to... to long for, um...
Shit.
- Desire? - Yeah.
For what?
The way that things... that water...
runs through your fingers.
To be human?
Yeah.
That's very good.
C'est très bien.
Good luck.
Hello.
Shit.
- Bonsoir. - Salut.
Can I help?
It's a Yamaha, but it's fucked.
Do you know anything about motorbikes?
English?
Oui.
Thanks.
Is it difficult?
No, it's easy, but...
Bon...
Good night.
I saw you...
I saw you swim in the reservoir, in the barrage.
Oui.
It's not allowed, is it?
You don't swim?
I do in English.
But not in French?
In England...
I mean, I don't swim in the barrage.
Really?
You sleeping here tonight?
I think we killed a deer on the way here.
It might not be dead.
It's probably dying, but Mum won't go look.
A deer?
- Rabbit? - Rabbit? No.
Uh, bigger.
Plus gros.
With antlers.
Les bois?
A deer?
- Bambi? - Yes.
OK. But it is dead?
Ah, that's the point. I don't know.
Maybe it has blood running from its eyes like tears,
as it limps across the fields.
What are you saying?
- I dive. - Yeah?
You have to breathe out or it goes up your nose.
I know.
You live here?
Fuck, no. In Paris. I just visit with my aunt.
- A holiday? - Not really.
We live in the house by the river.
I'm Clément.
Elliot. We're packing it up... to sell.
It's like a holiday house.
OK, great. Ciao.
I was about to give up.
- Elliot. - Yes.
- What are we having? - Food.
- What are you looking at? - Nothing.
Wash your hands.
Did you pack?
- I read. I didn't feel like packing. - Something edifying?
How did you get so big?
Incrementally.
We'll start packing tomorrow, properly.
Alright.
Bonjour.
Mum, there are figs.
- Salut. - What?
- Salut. - Elliot?
It's nothing, Mum. Forget it.
- Do you want one? - Yeah, sure.
What have you got? Figs? They're late.
- Yeah, there's just a few. - Oh, gosh. They're beautiful.
Hmm.
- I don't know your friend. - Clément.
Hello. Nice to meet you.
I come to help. Elliot says you pack up.
- Oh, he doesn't need to do that. - No, it's OK.
He can help me with the heavy things.
Well, if you're... if you're sure. Thank you.
The... The ones with yellow stickers are for the sale.
- Yeah, we'll do it. - Right. OK, Elliot?
Hm-hm.
I'll just carry on upstairs, then.
- After we swim? - Isn't the water a bit dirty?
- Want another one? - For your mother?
I don't think she likes them.
Will you take a look at the junk and decide what you want?
And then we can take the rest to the déchetterie.
OK.
I've made you hot chocolate.
They used to make epaulettes in the village, for the shoulders.
For soldiers.
Because the water is very soft, it's very pure.
It's good for the fabric. Did you know that?
No, but it's the same water in the barrage.
Yeah.
But you just said the water is dirty.
Well, maybe it wasn't before. But it is now. That's why they stopped.
Oh.
Here.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
- You swim? - Yes.
- In the reservoir? - Yeah.
Must be cold.
Hmm, to begin.
After... it's like fire, you know, in the skin.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
We never swam in the reservoir. We... I don't know why.
I think it's not allowed.
But we walk round it. It's very beautiful.
I used to swim.
In the sea.
Philip, Elliot's father, had a boat, and I'd dive off.
- Didn't I, Elliot? - What?
Dive, from the boat?
And you'd cry.
I think he thought maybe I'd not come back up.
It's fine, we'll do it.
- What was she saying? - About swimming.
Idiot!
- Did you buy it? - No, I found it.
It was in the hangar. On its own. I took it.
You can fix it, make it work?
Yeah, maybe.
OK.
- Is that all? - Yeah, thanks.
My parents are limited.
It's like they're dead.
Come on.
Where are we going?
I want to show you something.
Clément.
Clément?
Clément.
- Whoo! - You idiot.
Attends, Elliot.
- This is it? - Let's go.
No, no, come on.
You bring me here.
I "brought you here", not I "bring you here".
Happening once, not continuously or often.
Quoi?
It's not important. It's just grammar.
I want to be a writer.
OK, cool.
So...
My parents bring me here most years in the summer.
Here?
Not here. To the house.
I come here...
...to get away from the house, from them.
To think.
You're a bit of a cliché. The poet.
Not bad. Watch me. Like this.
Very good.
Soldier?
Ça va?
Elliot!
Rimbaud.
Proust.
- You've read Proust? - You've read Rimbaud?
- No, he's a fag. - So was Proust.
- Him too? - And Victor Hugo.
- Bullshit. - He wrote Les Mis.
You're a bit queer.
What?
It's slang. Forget it.
OK.
You wank too much.
It's normal.
With a carrot up your arse.
What happened to your hand?
Nothing.
He had to wait, Victor Hugo,
till his mother had died to be with the person he loved.
See you tomorrow.
Do you want some help?
From the poet? No, thanks.
Can you come tomorrow?
If you want.
- Where have you been? - I walked back with Clément.
- You've been smoking. - No, I haven't.
- It stinks. - No, it doesn't.
- It's disgusting. - God.
- What is wrong with you? - Nothing.
Get out. Just get out.
Get out.
- Go! Get out! - Make up your mind.
You OK, soldier?
It's big.
You must breathe.
Elliot?
- Yeah? - What are you doing?
I'm... having a snack.
Don't leave a mess.
OK.
I'm sorry about... earlier.
Look, you know, the... the déchetterie was closed and... I...
I'm sorry.
So am I.
The Vélibs, you know, the bicycles you can hire...
- Oh, yeah. - ...are everywhere, which is cool.
But... How do you say?
People piss everywhere.
- No. - Si.
They make signs to stop people.
- Even on the Champs-Élysées? - No, it's too classy.
- Clément's come back to help. - Yeah, I can see.
He was just telling me about Paris.
- Hot chocolate? - No, I prefer coffee.
Me too. I'll make it.
OK.
You OK?
Yeah, and you?
Yes.
Yes, yes.
- This? - Uh, rubbish.
Bin?
Yes.
- And this? - Uh, no.
- Ici. Bin. Um... - Poubelle.
Poubelle, yes.
- Mum? - Yeah?
Do we throw this away?
I don't know.
- Um... - C'est le téléphone.
Oh, it's the old one, I think.
Yes, poubelle.
- It's a funny word. - Mum.
I'm... I'm just not... sure what we'll need.
Maybe I'll make a cake.
- Is that it? - No. This.
This,... this and this.
All this... life.
I wonder what happened to that sandwich toaster.
Oh, I liked this oven. It was very...
Personable?
I suppose they don't mean to,
but people are very careless when they rent a holiday house.
Things break down.
I don't know what I'm doing.
We've done this so often, packing up.
But we were always moving somewhere else, somewhere better or bigger.
Weren't we, Elliot?
Not just... giving things up.
Your mother's sad.
I don't think so.
My mother is in... it's like an 'ospital, but different.
Like an asylum?
- Is she crazy? - No, she has cancer.
Oh.
How? I mean...
Smoking. The first was just... but now her...
- Head? - Yeah, and everywhere.
My father says she...
she's like a different person because of... of the cancer.
Not my mother any more.
At first she was funny.
She made really strange comments, you know?
Really.
She made us laugh.
Then suddenly she said horrible things.
We were in the hospital and they were changing her bed.
She said something weird and one of the nurses laughed.
- Understand? - Oui, je comprends.
It drove me mad, so I hit him in the face.
Dad said I shouldn't come any more.
He said I should stay here with my aunt.
While she is there... dying.
So that's why your hand...
Hello?
- Sally. - I borrowed this.
Those presents, you shouldn't have.
Oh, it was nothing.
And I guessed that you were out for a bit?
No, we were there. Maybe at the back.
Anyway, I had to come back and get on with all this.
It doesn't matter.
- You sold it? - Yes.
Philip called and said.
Wasn't I supposed to know?
Oh, no, no, of course. It's not quite finalised.
But you're packing.
Would you like coffee?
How's Elliot?
Horrible.
I should have told you when the house went on the market.
You've always said how much you liked it.
- We're happy where we are. - Are you?
- Happy? - Yes.
Oh, it's quiet.
Dan's in Toulouse a lot, which is good,
because when he's home, we tear strips off each other.
We'd hoped you'd come out more.
It's typical of Philip to do it all so tidily.
He won't admit it, but that's what he's doing.
Putting it all away. First the house and then...
- It wasn't your choice? - Is anything?
Maybe if we'd torn strips off each other...
I wanted, well, I thought we'd come here more.
I thought we'd retire.
I mean, not that I wanted to, but... Or did I?
I don't know.
I wanted to go to Paris. I thought that's what France was.
Not just another cold house in the middle of nowhere.
Am I sounding ungrateful?
No.
It's happened before.
It wasn't my choice then either.
My parents... Well, my mother, actually,
she made me give up a...
I had a child.
Before Philip. He knows. He knew.
They bought me a new set of clothes.
The child was going to be loved.
All neat. Tidy.
Beatrice...
I should have just knocked.
I've never been very good at friends.
Come back and visit.
A holiday.
On your own if you like.
I feel like I'm missing something.
Oh.
Oh...
Nothing, nothing.
Did she ask for me?
OK. OK, bye.
It was a fish farm. There were thousands of fish.
The water was boiling with them. It was disgusting.
Then they drained the water into the river over there.
Wriggling over each other.
No one can live like that.
No one can live like that!
Is it for me or for a studio audience?
Both.
He says I will be not happy if I see her now.
Like I'm a baby that will have bad dreams.
He wants you to remember her when she was funny,
when she was well, that's all.
Stop it. And you hit someone.
Do I come this evening?
If you want.
Your mum asked me.
Really?
Because you and I are friends, arsehole.
We don't know each other.
I know your mother is limited. You know my mother has cancer.
I know you like Proust.
We share cigarettes. You like me, no?
- Maybe. - Maybe, my arse.
In your dreams.
Fuck-shit.
Elliot!
Elliot?
You OK?
When I die, they'll float my body down an inky Thames,
past buildings painted black in mourning.
Fag.
Clément, wait.
Yes, I love you.
It's "I like you", not "I love you".
"I like you", not "I love you".
Come for dinner.
If you want, soldier.
- Soldier? - Oui.
Your French is shit.
We were foolish, we were kind, so caught up inside of time
And the emptiness dividing us by all we had to find
We'd be focusing our minds on what we couldn't leave behind
In all the fire and smoke we could not catch the wind
And I would smile at you and hope that one day upon the ropes
You'd learn to live and cope with the love you couldn't show
At the bottom of the oak where you oh, so softly spoke
Though you've been lucky all your life
You'll never catch the wind
I know all is said and done
And we don't talk and oh, not once do I regret I fill my lungs
With every single song I've sung
We were never meant to end, how I even thought to think it
Now it's beating at my limbs, I'll never catch the wind
Raise a glass, my dear, my love
Every time you think of love
And the frustration you will hide
And you've been lucky all your life
But you'll never catch the wind
Raise a glass, my dear, my love
Every time you think of love
And the frustration you will hide
And you've been lucky all your life, I've been so lucky all my life
Raise a glass, my dear, my love
To the pain we rose above
And the frustration you will hide
And you've been lucky all your life, I've been so lucky all my life
We've been so lucky all our lives
But we'll never
Catch
The wind
- I'm nearly finished. - It's me.
Hello, mermaid.
- Sorry. - It's nothing.
When I said your French was shit, I was joking.
It's not bad.
I put it out.
- The leaves... - Say again.
The leaves... falling leaves.
Feuilles...
Anyway, that was why we liked it, the colours in autumn.
- Yeah. - We only come in the summer.
Once you started school, yes, but we first saw the house in autumn.
We come each autumn to holiday to visit my aunt.
- Does she live in the village? - Yeah, all her life.
- Oh, it's a nice village. - Mm.
We don't... We never got to know anyone.
Yeah.
Let's open another bottle of wine. Clément can choose.
- OK, cool. - Yeah? They're... They're next door.
Take an expensive one.
They're wrapped in paper.
- Won't Dad mind? - Well, someone's got to drink it.
You're drunk.
Let's go away tomorrow, shall we? Would you like that?
- To Lagrasse? - Can Clément come?
- Yes, if he wants to. - Have you been?
- It's very pretty. - No, I don't think so.
They have proper ice cream, like Italy.
Yeah, we can pretend to be on holiday.
Before we collect your father.
- Oh. - We're picking up Dad?
Yes, but we'll pass the airport on the way home.
Why didn't you tell me?
That was the moment. It was in Lagrasse that time.
The bridge, the sun...
Autumn.
And then finding this house in the forest,
that was the French dream.
It was then.
Why is Dad coming?
Oh, because he wants to sign some things for the sale. Then it's done.
Good riddance.
It's a holiday house. It was a project to keep the marriage together.
- Mum... - Some people have sex.
We bought houses.
- I was better at that. - Mum, for fuck's sake.
Elliot, you've drunk too much.
You just say things. It's not appropriate.
- We're on holiday. - Well, no, we're not.
We're in France. French people talk about these things.
- Or is that only in Paris? - I don't know.
You're being vulgar.
I thought you liked carrots.
Wait a moment.
We'll see you on the bridge.
Which bridge?
I think they were supposed to be up there.
There are steps? No, no, we have to go back the same way.
Oh.
C'est ça, oui.
Whoo-oo!
My father says that you can know the quality of a bridge
if it has a good echo.
If the echo is net or pure, pas flou.
- Pure. - Mm.
And all the time my mother shout at us for dinner or not to be bad, but...
she shouted two times or more.
Because we cannot hear or because we didn't want to stop playing.
And she shouts twice, like an echo.
And my father laughed and he says, "She is un voûte, un arc, parfait."
She's perfect.
C'est idiot mais...
- How is yours? - Good.
You put up the notice for the sale?
Bea?
I did it.
And you've been helping?
He's been all over it.
Sounds like there's nothing left to do.
Please stop the car.
Stop the car. Just...
- What's wrong with you? - Sorry.
What is it?
- It's good. - It's Rusalka.
- You've seen it? - Yes.
With Mum?
No, not with Mum.
Mum?
I'm in the bath.
Did you see it?
What?
The deer.
Where you got out, it's where we hit something when we arrived.
Oh.
- Did you? - No, Elliot, I didn't.
I wasn't looking. I just... wanted to walk.
What's happening?
- Mum? - Yes?
Can I come in?
Maybe I'll go and look for him.
I could do with a walk.
Haven't you walked enough today?
- Monsieur. - Merci.
I'm sorry about your mother.
It's easy to forget what you want, Elliot, out of life, out of...
You put things away.
There are circumstances where that can happen.
- It's not always your fault. - I know.
No. That goes in there.
Certain things you push away don't really go away.
Your mother has given up things and maybe she didn't need to.
She's not happy.
Is this about Mum?
No.
- We were having a conversation. - Who was it about, then?
- Did you do the attic? - It wasn't about Elliot, was it?
The attic?
You said leave it to you.
Did you enjoy the wine?
Come on.
What will you do with the bike when you fix it?
- I'll go to Paris. - To see your mother?
Is that kind of bike allowed on the motorway?
Do you think you can know things before you know them?
Like what?
Don't know.
Something good or bad, I don't think it matters, but it's...
like the air changes or something inside of you.
Maybe.
What are you doing?
Clément!
Clément?
Clément!
You fucking twat! You fucking twat!
Why did you do that? Why did you do that?
It's allowed.
- Whoo! - You're gonna get cold. Get...
What is a twat?
I don't know. Something to do with a nun.
Oopla!
When I was little...
the hot tap broke on the kitchen sink...
and very hot water sprayed over Mum.
There was steam. It must have been boiling.
She wouldn't stop.
She just kept trying to put the tap back on.
It was like there was something strange in the house;
Not Mum, but a wild animal.
I was frightened.
I begged her to stop. I was crying.
And she fainted.
So I ran outside to get help and a neighbour came with a spanner,
a tool to turn the tap off with.
Mum was sat at the table holding her hand by the wrist.
Her face was so white.
I'd forgotten, but...
now I remember.
I remember the density of the air.
Like we were underwater.
And this feeling that something was broken.
Not the taps.
Something else.
Is that what you thought was going to happen?
What?
You said you can know something before it happens.
Was that what it was?
I don't know.
Answer me!
Well, it's stupid to take it back.
I'm stupid. I'm the bloody stupid one!
Oh, shit.
For God's sake.
Oh, God.
I can't take this any more.
You can't take what?
Can't take marriage?
It's not a marriage.
But it's all I've got.
- Ow! - Bea, stop it.
Ow.
Oh, God!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
Wash your hands, Elliot.
Take your jacket off.
Not at the table, Elliot.
Pass your plate.
- What happened to your hand? - Your mother's offering you the gravy.
- What happened? - Just take it.
I can't go through another meal like this.
Tell Elliot what you pushed away, Philip.
Tell him what you gave up.
- Beatrice. - Tell him.
Tell all of us what you put away.
Tell Elliot.
I broke a glass, that's all. It's just a wretched glass.
No point buying decent things when your mother just...
Shut up!
- Just shut up! - Don't talk to me like that.
Elliot, sit down.
It was just a distraction, wasn't it, buying houses?
One at a time.
Each one a bit bigger than the last.
Then two. Had to have two.
On the ladder.
I tried.
What did you try?
To be happy.
I saw you eyeing the waiters.
I didn't understand it at first.
- Young men in cafés. - No.
You hid it really well, but I saw you, Philip, I saw you.
Far back inside you.
The looks.
The longing.
Behind the shutters.
Please, Beatrice.
I've always felt it.
That...
the love that you had...
was all I could expect.
Beatrice.
And that what I had for you...
was all you wanted.
Your father isn't going to be there when we get back.
He's not living with us any more.
Is that why you burned everything?
I didn't burn everything.
You burned the chest, the photos.
- What did you think you were doing? - Oh, shut up, Elliot.
They were mine too.
- It's not about you. - Then who is it about?
- Hm? Who is it about? - It's about me.
It's about me!
Oh, God! Oh, no.
Leave me alone!
Oh, God.
I feel like I'm drowning.
It's all my fault.
I didn't tell him about you and Clément.
You didn't tell...
You didn't tell me about you and Clément either.
- Tell you what? - Elliot...
- Tell you what? - Elliot.
- I don't want to talk about it. - I want to talk about it.
I don't want to talk about it.
Elliot!
Shit.
So how will you get to Paris?
By train.
So why don't you?
Where are we going?
I want to find the deer.
This is stupid. Putain.
What will you do if you find it?
I'll bury it.
It was here somewhere. There was a bang, we hit it and then it limped away.
What if it's not dead? What if it's in your head?
Qu'est-ce qu'il y a là? Huh?
It's not "I like you".
I know.
Clément.
We were foolish, we were kind, so caught up inside of time
And the emptiness dividing us by all we had to find
We'd be focusing our minds on what we couldn't leave behind
In all the fire and smoke we could not catch the wind
I would smile at you and hope that one day upon the ropes
You'd learn to live and cope with the love you couldn't show
At the bottom of the oak where you oh, so softly spoke
Though we've been lucky all our lives
We'll never catch the wind
Raise a glass, my dear, my love
Every time you think of love
And the frustration you would hide
And you've been lucky all your life, but you'll never catch the wind
Well, I took all your foolish ways and I played all your childish games
Oh, it was never hard to save every time you weren't so brave
You've never seen that face but in my heart it's you I crave
You did all you want, you'll never catch the wind
I know all is said and done
And we don't talk and oh, not once do I regret I fill my lungs
With every single song I've sung
Oh, we were never meant to end, how I even thought to think it
Now it's beating at my limbs, I'll never catch the wind
Raise a glass, my dear, my love
Every time you think of love
And the frustration you would hide
And you've been lucky all your life, I've been so lucky all my life
We've been so lucky all our lives
But we'll never
Catch the wind
Raise a glass, my dear, my love
Every time you think of love
And the frustration you would hide
And you've been lucky all your life, I've been so lucky all my life
We've been so lucky all our lives
But we'll never
Catch the wind